Even after 40 years of marriage the simple equation in this blog prompts me daily to re-evaluate my actions.
I introduced in the last Blog how the bible describes marriage in terms of a multiplication equation
‘… a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.’
Two (2) become one. 1 and 1 equal 1 through multiplication
1 x 1 = 1 two (2) become one (1)
We can say that the couple’s lives, because of an intimate relationship, are multiplied together they are not merely added to each other
This Blog is about the importance of wholeness – if you understand the implications of this simple equation, and act accordingly, it will transform your marriage
I’m sorry but you will need to understand the multiplication of fractions for this…
½ x 1 = ½ – a half multiplied by 1 equals a half
If one of the factors is less than 1 the result is less than 1
½ x ½ = ¼ – a half multiplied by a half equals a quarter
If both factors are less than 1, the result is less than each of the factors!
Sometimes people get married thinking that they are adding someone to themselves and therefore increasing their life – what they often find instead is that they feel diminished or less than they were before
…. when they feel diminished, they tear the other person down, blaming them – making them less, and find that they feel even more diminished – this is the equation at work!
No wonder divorce is on the increase
Why marry?
Adam the first man – created in the image of God – wasn’t whole – God created Eve and marriage to make him/her/them whole
Many think that they are whole before they marry – but are not – marriage makes this visible
You can only be whole when you have learned how to truly love someone through all of life’s highs and lows
God’s intention was to make mankind whole and beautiful by making them one
Marriage puts the importance of wholeness front and center – and the urgency of love
The bible describes this equation beautifully…
‘Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy… to present her to himself as a radiant church, without … blemish, holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church – for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.’
And
‘Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly (whole) offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth’
Let loving your partner as yourself and building them up be your focus and you and your marriage will become whole.
If you are like me – you will need help (this is for single people as well)
‘He/she who is joined to the Lord becomes one Spirit with Him’ – same equations different partner – we become a recipient of the greatest love of all and are empowered to love and to be whole
‘For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of His glory He may grant you to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God’